I sat down with our general contractor and went through our house remodel agreement term by term to ensure he understood everything. It was a balanced agreement given our relationship.
He had completed several smaller projects for us previously but those were handshake deals, with payment after completion. And they had gone extremely well. But this agreement was more significant and included some technical terms.
It also included attachments with a detailed scope of work, a kitchen design document, and the specifications for the new kitchen appliances.
After our meeting, I e-mailed the agreement and attachments to the contractor’s business partner for final review and signature.
Shortly afterward, I received the signed agreement back with two minor additions. No problem, right? Just add them in, initial them, and get the remodel started.
Not so fast.
I reviewed the agreement and realized that the returned agreement was not the final one I had sent. Plus, the scope of work attachment was his original scope of work bid and not the detailed one I had reviewed with him.
What the heck? As a lawyer, I was trained to be suspicious and skeptical, and the red flags seemed to be waving in the wind. Did he try to pull a fast one on me? On the other hand, it just didn’t make sense given our relationship.
My initial thought was to send an e-mail expressing my surprise and asking for an explanation. I was upset. But I waited a day or so, to cool off and to better evaluate our next step.
I’m glad I waited. After considering my response, I decided to call and not e-mail.
What did I find out? It was a simple miscommunication due largely to the contractor’s business partner taking the lead on the contract and just not noticing my attachments.
We thus substituted the final agreement, switched out the attachments and signed everything. Our kitchen remodel has begun!
What negotiation lessons can we learn?
- Miscommunications and cynical attitudes can easily derail deals. I might be looking for a new contractor if I had sent an accusatory e-mail. My contractor is a proud professional who highly values his integrity. An e-mail laying out my suspicions would almost certainly have resulted in a lose-lose situation.
- Don’t jump to conclusions about underlying motivations. My legal training here would have done me a disservice as I initially – and wrongly – suspected he might be trying to take advantage of me. I am extremely glad I took time to strategically evaluate how to respond. If you’re not sure what happened or why, take extra time to consider your response.
- Easier to explore issues and clear up possible miscommunications on the phone than by e-mail. E-mail can be incredibly efficient. But it’s not always the most effective way to engage. Here, an e-mail could have easily spiraled everything downward. Picking up the phone and starting with some small talk and rapport-building was more efficient and effective. There is no substitute sometimes to a real-time discussion of issues, especially when miscommunications may be involved.
- Sincerely ask and get information. I made a conscious effort in my call with my contractor’s business partner to not appear accusatory. I was truly and sincerely in information-gathering mode. And it quickly became apparent that a mistake led to their response, not an effort to mislead. My attitude made a difference.
- Give the benefit of the doubt. Finally, I am not suggesting your counterpart might not sometimes try to pull the wool over your eyes. There’s a good reason we hire lawyers to scrutinize contracts and dot the i’s and cross the t’s. But when you have a good relationship with your counterpart, give them the benefit of the doubt. It could save your deal.
Latz’s Lesson: Miscommunications and mistakes occur in negotiations. How you engage (in-person, phone or email), whether you jump to conclusions, and how you respond (accusing, asking questions, and/or giving the benefit of the doubt) can make or break your deal.
* Marty Latz is the founder of Latz Negotiation, a national negotiation training and consulting company that helps individuals and organizations achieve better results with best practices based on the experts’ research. He can be reached at 480.951.3222 or Marty@LatzNegotiation.com.